


look

by WONHOISM



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band)
Genre: Exes, F/M, M/M, Past Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, exes turned to best friends, jongin likes jennie now, kyungsoo still likes jongin, slight angst, still kaisoo though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 20:11:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17311079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WONHOISM/pseuds/WONHOISM
Summary: "he never thought he'd see that shine again but towards another person."





	look

**Author's Note:**

> even though jenkai exists, i still go down with the kaisoo luxury cruise.

_"maybe i lost feelings, soo."_

_"what do you mean_ _'lost_ _feelings'?_ _nini_ _what are you saying?!"_

_"i'm saying that maybe...maybe this isn't working for me."_

_"six years, jongin. six. years. you're telling me that after all that, our relationship died down to nothing for you?"_

_"soo, i'm_ _sor_ _—"_

_"no! you no longer have the right to call me that! and you think an apology would mend all the damage you're causing?"_

_"i know that but_ _pl_ _—"_

_"jongin...i was confident in what we had. what we were having. i thought we were set to have the rest of our lives together. to finally tie the knot soon. six years, jongin. six years! we wasted six fucking years together."_

_"_ _kyungsoo_ _, please, do know that i regret nothing of this. that i'll forever treasure what we had. you taught me new things and helped me become myself. i love you for it but those words don't mean the same. i'm really really sorry."_

_the former looks at him, tears and hurt evident. kyungsoo has loved jongin unconditionally and chose him amidst all the others that came his way. he put so much effort to make him stay, to give jongin whatever he was looking for even if he was never enough._

_heartbroken is an understatement to what kyungsoo is feeling at the moment. all the stored up insecurities he's been bottling up just begins to wash up on him, blaming himself for not making the latter stay._

_"kyungsoo."_

_**it hurts.** _

_"kyungsoo, please look at me."_

_**i don't want to.** _

_"_ _soo_ _.."_

_**don't.** _

_"just because i don't see you in that light anymore, doesn't mean i don't want to see your face anymore. let's continue this closeness...as friends."_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"yah! kim jongin! you're doing it all wrong! you're supposed to cut the side, not the top!" kyungsoo yells, as he tutors the other on how to correctly do his culinary task. jongin only giggles, embarrassed that he is making kyungsoo do the chopping again.

shyly, he let's out a soft "sorry, hyung" before letting the other finish his job. he watches kyungsoo do his work before ruffling the elder's head.

"thanks, hyung. i appreciate it."

kyungsoo looks at him for a bit before averting his eyes and focusing on the stove. he grabs the hand on his head and holds it shortly before letting it go.

"well food isn't gonna cook itself so might as well help you with it."

jongin smiles sweetly before grabbing the wooden spoon and stirring the pot.

four years has passed and yet the two have stuck to living with each other. jongin got used to kyungsoo's presence throughout that long period to which the other also agreed on. they've learned to be dependent on each other, always seeking for the other when a challenge arises.

kyungsoo was bitter for the first year of their breakup but later on brought himself together to learn on how to move on and let their closeness live by agreeing to a friendship. six years of love was soon replaced with four years of friendship and kyungsoo would have to be satisfied with whatever the younger can give. he doesn't want jongin to leave his life. heck, he'd take it like a stab in the heart if the latter would ever take the initiative to leave his life just because there's nothing to stay for anymore.

although jongin can no longer see kyungsoo that way, he never stops to show affection and appreciation to the other. kyungsoo doesn't mind it, of course, but now he has become hesitant in accepting them, always pushing the other away whenever it would be initiated.

nevertheless, they still got each other. boyfriends or not.

"i think that's enough stirring, jongin. you can just put the lid on the pot now and let it boil." kyungsoo instructed. jongin follows the former's order and sets the spoon down, covering the pot with the lid.

shortly after, a knock on their door was heard, jongin wiping his hands to clean them in order to answer it. kyungsoo, however, beat him to it, opening their white birch door to reveal their neighbor.

"hello, jennie." kyungsoo greeted, "may we help you?"

the woman only smiled sweetly and looked over kyungsoo's shoulder, staring at the man who was still in the kitchen.

"jongin invited me to come over for lunch." she replies, pointing to said man who was making his way to the front door.

"ah yeah, hyung, i forgot to mention it to you. she will be joining us this afternoon."

kyungsoo only smiled softly before widening the door more to allow their guest to enter. jennie thanked the male and began to greet jongin with a wide smile.

"i expect a lot from what you're cooking today. you made a very promising invite so the food should be just as good." she says, pointing at jongin who was laughing at every word.

"hmm i think they'd be good enough to reach your standards." he replies, guiding jennie to the dining room.

kyungsoo looks at them, all smiles and jongin's eyes glowing. he hasn't seen those in a while and he thought he would never ever see them again but fate may have plans for the two of them.

"so what did you prepare for today, jongin-oppa?" jennie asks, scooting her chair closer to the table.

"i prepared some bulgogi soup if that's okay with you."

she smiles widely and nods her head, eyes turning into crescent moon as she awaits for the food. kyungsoo proceeds to get three bowls, one for each, and serves the meal.

jongin gives jennie the food, sitting down across from her to wait for her verdict. the woman grabs the spoon near her right hand, grabbing a spoonful and letting run in her mouth. she nibbles on some of the meat and sits back with a satisfied sigh.

"not bad. it tastes better than i thought it would."

jongin let's out the breath he was holding in, victoriously giving himself a pat on the back, however, kyungsoo didn't let him celebrate for long before giving the facts to the critic.

"i made that soup. jongin is just taking the credits."

the latter's eyes widened, feeling exposed and slapping his hyung for it. jennie giggles at the sight, letting out a soft "aww cutie" at the two males.

jongin looks at her with reddened cheeks while kyungsoo looks at him.

"ahhhh nini, you're so adorable!" she says, causing the two to look at her.

"n-nini?" jongin questions.

"ah you don't like the nickname? oh sorry. i guess you're not really fond of them."

"n-no! it's okay! you can call me that."

and with that, jennie continues to smile, staring cutely at the man across from him. jongin looks at her to meet her eyes, attention focused on the beauty of it.

kyungsoo stares at the situation before him, analysing every detail. it's funny how he used to have their friends like sehun or junmyeon gag at jongin and his' little cheesy dates and starings but never did it ever cross his mind that he'll be watching the person he used to love look at someone so lovingly like that.

he never thought he'd see that shine again but towards another person. his heart aches because of it, reopening past businesses he promised to kill.

kyungsoo wanted to interrupt and let his presence be known but the bigger side of him got to him, telling him to just stand up from his seat and leave the two be.

he did what his conscious was saying and headed up the stairs to their shared room. looking back, it seemed like the two didn't take notice on his departure so he just twisted the door knob and entered without any more thought.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"oh there you are, hyung." jongin exclaimed, finding the elder on his own bed with earphones plugged in his ears. kyungsoo removes one of them and looks at the younger.

"oh hey." he monotonously greeted, "i have been here for like the past three hours. didn't you notice?"

_if he says_ _'no'_ _, then we are gonna have some problems. my emotions and feelings shouldn't get the best of me but the feeling of being left forgotten and not being minded of is something that would forever keep me bitter._

"ah no, hyung. i didn't even see you leave the table."

kyungsoo just nods his head bitterly, placing his laptop on the night stand along with his earphones to talk to the other. jongin invites himself on the elder's bed, kyungsoo scooting to give him space.

"jennie just left by the way." he explains, earning another nod from the other. awkward silence followed suit, both boys not saying anything.

jongin looks at his  _best friend_ and he knows that look all too well. he places his hand on kyungsoo's shoulder, squeezing it to get the other's attention.

kyungsoo did what the younger intended, eyes hesitant to give contact. jongin smiles at him, rubbing  his back to make his hyung at ease.

"hey, i'm sorry for making you leave and out of place. i just really needed to attend to her because she is a guest after all." jongin reasons.

kyungsoo sighs, accepting the excuse and removes jongin's hand from him.

"i-its okay. you two needed your moment."

jongin was taken aback, cheeks getting flustered.

_i knew it._

"you like her, don't you?" kyungsoo finally asks.

"w-what?" jongin stutters out. "no! no, i don't like her...like that."

_amusing_  is all kyungsoo managed to say in his head, eyes no long on the other. he takes the initiative to stand up and kneel down before the other, small smile forcing itself to appear.

"jongin," kyungsoo calls for him. "i know you like her."

the latter keeps his head low, not minding whatever he was telling him. he doesn't want to admit things but at the same time, he doesn't want to know things about what he's feeling.

he feels guilt but at the same time he doesn't.

"h-how would you know that, hyung?" jongin asks.

kyungsoo's eyes begin to water, heart aching at the word he was about to say next. it hurts to know it but it's the reality of things. he saw it. he saw it again. he saw things he thought he would never witness again.

he is hurting, yes, but jongin's happiness comes first. that always been his mantra in life. to give jongin everything and to take care of him even after the break. jongin tried to find reasons to stay but they weren't enough. now, he saw them in someone else and kyungsoo can never take that away from him. he wants jongin happy. to be free and to be with someone his heart longs for. kyungsoo swore to never interfere with jongin's life decisions anymore and so he is doing what is only right.

"i saw that way you look at her. i know those eyes of yours whenever they see someone their heart yearns for. believe me, i know.." and so the tears began to stream.

"...because you used to look at me like that all those years ago."

that's when jongin looked at kyungsoo straight in the eye, panicking as he sees the person in front of him cry his heart out.

"h-hyung..."

jongin thought both of them have left their history aside and moved on but to see the person he used to give his all to, cry right in front of him because of another, it takes him back to those years he would stay by kyungsoo's side and hold him close until he's okay. he didn't stay and that is his one debt that he promises to pay in his lifetime. even if there's nothing to fight for anymore, he promises to fulfill a vow to stay by kyungsoo's side.

_"_ _nini_ _..."_  kyungsoo says. "please be happy for me. if you really like her, go ahead! don't let me stop you. don't let our past stop you. as long as you're happy, i will no longer give a shit about my feelings. on how i should feel. i'll deal with whatever pain comes my way because you come first."

"hyung, please don't say that."

"i'll always be here for you, nini. i'll always be a phone away."

kyungsoo stands up from his spot and heads to the door, sadly smiling at jongin before exiting.

if he wants jongin to be happy, he needs to get himself out of the picture. to give jennie the space needed to be close to him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"oh! kyungsoo-oppa? why are you here?" jennie asks, surprised to see kyungsoo on her door step.

he only smiles at her, keys in hand.

 

 

 

_"would you want to live with jongin?"_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**[ END. ]**

**Author's Note:**

> thank you jenkai for giving me kaisoo angst prompts


End file.
